Catch-22, chapter 13

Catch-22

Not a lot to say this chapter, but we hope you enjoy the extra-long update and I’ll try not to take so long at it next time around, lol. As always, we appreciate your feedback – it’s what really keeps us going!

Ch. 13. Rest and Unrest

“Jerry?” Reever called as he ventured into the kitchen with Komui still in his arms. The cook in question was busily humming to himself, preparing assorted items for a few of the stragglers who came by between meal hours for a bite because of however their schedules were or weren’t working out for them. Now and again he would stop to jot something down. It was a comprehensive list of everything he knew how to make that Komui had liked at the time of his departure.

Currently, Jerry was on his third memo pad.

“I won’t give you any alcohol today, Reever~” he sang without turning around, in the middle of trying to remember if it was shepherd’s pie Komui had liked or shepherd’s fried rice. Which one had it been…? Ah, well. It couldn’t hurt to put them both down. “No matter how much you beg~ I locked the storeroom too, so don’t even try it! Why don’t you come taste this for me inste–” Jerry froze when he realized Reever hadn’t returned alone.

A moment of complete silence and stillness passed, like the eerie calm that came before storms.

Then–

“KOMUI-TAAAAAAAAN~!”

Jerry dropped everything he was doing and positively floated over, wrapping both of his well-toned arms around Reever, sandwiching Komui between them.

“Oh! I’ve missed you so much~! It’s been so lonely in the kitchen with no one to help me pass the slow hours and no one to taste all my new dishes and no one to sit with me through inventory and oh just look at you! You must be skin and bones for Reever to be carrying you like that! He’s not very strong, you know. But don’t tell him I said that–”

“…Jerry,” Reever tried to interrupt, expression something between overwhelmed and slightly irritated. He was right there.

“–anyway, look at you! You have the cutest little face still! Haven’t aged a single day, Komui-tan! Teach me your secrets~! Look at me, I’m getting old and decrepit and you’re as young and spry as always! But you’re such a mess! What’s this in your hair, Komui-tan? Did you forget all the secrets I taught you about taking care of your hair? No worry! I’ll close the kitchen down and show you again if I have to! It’s gotten so long~! I would love to play with it! You’ll let me, won’t you, Komui-tan? Have you eaten? I know I sent that food with Reever but he probably ate it all because he’s been putting on a lot of weight, you know. All that drinking’ll do it too, but he goes on these eating binges and don’t think I haven’t noticed–”

“Jerry!“

“It’s okay, Supervisor Reever. We’ll get R&D right on taking out those seams a little. Then your coat will fit right again, so don’t be rude. I’m talking to Komui-tan–”

“Jerry, I am not getting fat and the coat fits fine, thanks,” Reever grumbled, finally setting Komui down. “We actually did come for a bite to eat, because we got to talking again, and, well… anyway, could you please? He’s about to pass out.”

“Oh why didn’t you say something earlier, Reever?” Jerry pouted. “You just let me ramble like that and we nearly starved poor Komui-tan~! So, then, what’ll it be, boys?”

“…Something that can be ready in the next five minutes?” Komui requested, looking dizzy and more than a little overwhelmed, but smiling nevertheless as he stood there leaning heavily on Reever. “It’s really really good to see you.” And despite everything, it was. Three years later, stepping into Jerry’s kitchen felt absolutely, positively the same.

“And this, um.” He blinked at his bangs for a second, reaching up to bat at some hair speculatively and looking a little sheepish. “Just chalk. I’ll try not to get any on your food.”

“That’s very considerate of you,” Jerry accepted graciously. “Because even my culinary genius can’t make chalk dust taste very good, I’m afraid. In five minutes… I will fry you a salmon fillet and steam some fresh vegetables and serve it over fluffy, heavenly, positively decadent rice! All with a light lemon butter herb sauce! Have a seat, you two! The usual crates are still exactly where you left them, I promise, and I’ll cut it off if I see you reaching for any of my cooking alcohol, Reever~!” All of this was spoken in a cheerful, happy voice as Jerry went about finding where he’d left his fresh salmon fillets.

“…want to go sit down?” Reever sighed with a small, slightly terrified shake of his head, nodding to their ‘usual place’. He was still inwardly cringing at the very real threat of Jerry rendering him infertile over a few drinks. Not that he really particularly needed to be able to have children, but he rather liked everything down there as it was.

“Yes, please,” Komui said in a small voice, really not feeling good standing on his feet. It was better once they’d seated themselves, though he continued to lean against Reever’s shoulder as they waited, reaching back one-handed to pull loose the ribbon at the nape of his neck.

“My hair’s all dirty,” he muttered in annoyance, letting the tie flutter into his lap as he tossed some of the dark locks over his shoulder and attempted to wipe at a streak of chalk dust.

“Yeah, well, it happens,” Reever smiled faintly. “Occupational hazard and all. That’s why I don’t have so much hair.” Pursing his lips, Reever took a minute to really look at Komui’s hair, at how much it’d changed. At how exactly it matched the way Linali had always described it to him as a little girl.

“…looks good on you though, Komui. The long hair. Linali always used to tell me about it and I’d wonder. Never thought I’d get to see it for myself, but… it suits you.”

“Um. Thank you.” Komui smiled at him for a second a little bashfully — zhu ren always said so too, but zhu ren made Reever unhappy so he decided not to mention it — glanced away, paused a moment and… then went slightly pink.

“…She did?”

“Yeah. She never really stopped talking about you, actually,” Reever answered with a quiet laugh. “She loved you so much back then. Still does, I’m sure. And I think I… Well, I think I fell for you come day one. All that talk me and Linali had really stuck, I guess. But I forgot about all that for a long time. Mostly because I was me and you were you and…” Trailing off, Reever began to look a little uncomfortable at what he was trying to say and he shook his head. Komui probably wouldn’t really understand right now anyway.

“I wonder how the food’s coming,” he finished instead.

Komui chewed on a thumbnail a little, and leaned his head against Reever’s shoulder.

“Hm. Dunno, but I have a feeling all that is going to take more than five minutes,” he said in a quiet, fond sort of voice, gaze trailing Jerry as the chef bounced back and forth around the kitchen. It felt… comfortable in here, which he was glad for. Familiar and welcoming. It was an incredible relief that Jerry had actually been happy to see him.

“Nah, I think Jerry’ll pull through. He made that whole mess from earlier for you in twenty minutes. I still stand by my theory that he has some sort of cooking-Innocence. Or maybe something like what Miranda has,” Reever contemplated aloud.

“Jerry’s powers are above and beyond Innocence,” Komui mused, looking a little playful. “So mighty that no mere mortal can possibly comprehend them.”

“Did I hear someone say I was mightier than you mere mortals~?” Jerry laughed as he came over with Komui’s food as though on cue. “Someone’s trying to get extra dessert out of me, isn’t he? Well, say no more~ I am more than happy to fatten up those who admit to my saintliness!”

Komui accepted the food smilingly, tying back his hair again as he sat up very carefully. “Thank you! What would we do without you, Jerry-pon?” He proceeded to tuck into the delicious-looking meal without wasting another moment; he was really ready to not feel so dizzy any more.

“Oh~! Komui-tan! Say that again~!” Jerry crooned, clasping his hands together.

Reever had the distinct feeling that if he spent any more time around these two, he was going to get ill.

Komui swallowed a bite of salmon and obliged with a wide smile. “What would we ever do without you, Jerry-pon?”

“Sweet music to my ears~ To hear my Komui-tan call me ‘Jerry-pon’ again! And such glowing praise! No one ever takes the time to admire my genius anymore, Komui-tan!” And then Jerry promptly began to sniff loudly, wiping semi-imaginary tears from his eyes. “It’s been so hard going on without you!”

…make that violently ill. Reever stared a little.

“Clearly you’re not being properly appreciated,” said Komui, nodding sagely. (In between eating, because he wanted to have this conversation without falling over in the middle of it.)

“…I’m sorry I was gone so long,” he offered hesitantly after a moment, with an apologetic smile.

“It’s okay, Komui-tan~! I forgive you because I know you’d never have stayed away so long if you could help it!” Jerry declared. “But if you want to make up for all the heartache you’ve caused me, you’ll simply have to start eating twice as much as you used to for the next three years so that we’re all caught up!”

“I’ll see what I can do about that,” Komui replied cheerfully, picking up another forkful of rice.

“If you stop fitting in your clothes, I’m not ordering you any new ones,” Reever warned with a slight groan. “You’ll just have to go around naked.”

“And what’s wrong with that?” Jerry defended, going to Komui’s side to give him a little half-hug. “The Order should be so privileged as to see my Komui-tan go about naked.”

Though his expression was sheepish, Komui couldn’t help smiling a little as Jerry’s arms were tucked about him.

“Uhh, I’ll do my best not to get fat,” he concluded brightly, scratching his head.

“Well that’s no fun,” Jerry sighed theatrically. “But perhaps something unfortunate could happen to all your–”

“Jerry!“

“Being Supervisor’s gotten to your head, Reever,” Jerry observed with some dismay before he turned to pout at Komui. “He’s all grumpy and important now. You’ll take the job back from him eventually, right? Then we can have you back and maybe he’ll stop acting like we drowned his puppy.”

“U-um–”

Lie to Jerry? Or make him sad? Komui wasn’t sure which one was worst; but he knew which one would make him feel worse.

“I suppose so,” he said with a slightly nervous smile, glancing back down toward his plate.

“Of course you will,” Jerry agreed, planting a very motherly kiss on the side of Komui’s head. “And we’ll have the tailors make you a brand new Supervisor coat because you don’t want the one Reever’s been abusing for the past three years. It probably smells like whiskey and Australian and is all stretched out–”

“I’m not fat!“

“Mmhm, sweetie. Tell that to your mirror.”

By then Reever was too annoyed to put into words and so he simply stared. What was Jerry’s problem? He had pointed out Reever’s little bit of belly that had happened as a result of the heavy drinking, but he’d never really called Reever fat before. Why was he being so mean in front of Komui?

Reever was so busy being irritated that he didn’t even notice how nothing bothered him right then as much as Jerry’s insistence that he was fat.

“I don’t think he’s really fat,” Komui offered mildly, blinking and tilting his head slightly to the side as he examined Reever, appearing to seriously consider the idea. “Well, he does look a little different, but…”

Reever made a little unintelligible noise that sounded not entirely unlike someone strangling a cat.

“…different like how?” he finally managed, sounding rather mortified.

“I don’t know…” Komui frowned a little, glancing off to the side and looking faintly perplexed. “Just, um… less… Reever-like?”

“Less… Reever-like?” Reever echoed, looking down at himself. “How… do I look less like myself? Am I too shaven? Too unshaven? Fat? Old?”

Komui paused for a moment and then shook his head, looking faintly frustrated as he reached up to scratch at his nose.

“….I don’t know. Nevermind. You don’t really look fat, anyway,” he concluded matter-of-factly as he returned to his food.

“Okay,” Reever mumbled dismissively, peering around. “Jerry, do you have a mirror?”

“Of course~ It’s over around those shelves,” Jerry directed, looking rather proud of himself. “Pay extra attention to that beer belly you have going on, Reever!”

Komui shifted in his place as Reever rose, and watched the other man walk off with a slightly perplexed blink.

“I really don’t think he looks bad,” he remarked to Jerry with a faint frown, returning to his food.

“Then I obviously have to break out the old photo albums, Komui-tan~ He looks like life’s been using him as a pinata for the past three years,” Jerry sighed, shaking his head. “He used to be such a gorgeous, cute boy. Now he’s more like a tired old man and he’s not allowed in my territory for, well. Ever. I like being special.”

“…well, besides that,” Komui murmured, glancing downward.

“It’s okay, Komui-tan,” Jerry reassured quietly, patting Komui on the shoulder with a little smile. “Jerry-pon is here now. I’ll fix you all right up through my phenomenal cooking skills and my impeccable fashion sense.”

For a moment, Komui just blinked at him.

“Wasn’t Reever the one that needed the fixing…?”

But, nevertheless… it felt… nice.

To be back here again. Like something else he had been missing for a long time and just never quite realized.

“…It really is good to see you,” he said quietly after a moment, a smile passing shyly across his face.

“Of course it is, honey,” Jerry beamed, reached over to give Komui another hug. “It’s great to see you too. Let me go fix you some sesame balls, okay? My recipe’s gotten better since you last had them.”

Komui glanced down at his plate speculatively for a second. He’d gotten through most of the food already, and he was really feeling quite a bit better…

Quickly taking a couple more bites, he set it down next to him on the storage crate and rose to follow Jerry.

“Since I’m here anyway, I could give you a hand?”

“Well, normally I’d be afraid of you learning my secret recipes, but I think I’ll make an exception for my Komui-tan this time,” Jerry smiled, holding out his hand.

And for the first time in three years, the Order felt like home to Jerry again.

…the Finders would be eating sesame balls for weeks.

- – -

Over the next few days, something began to develop that could tentatively have been described as a routine. Komui, still feeling a little timid about the idea of reuniting with everyone he’d known during his years as Supervisor, largely stayed secluded in his labs and at Linali’s bedside — except when he didn’t; half-formed thoughts took him wandering out through the castle’s back hallways occasionally into places as far-reaching as the little kitchen gardens and the cathedral and even the top parapets, not really looking for… ….well, maybe he was looking for something, he wasn’t entirely sure. There were a couple days where it was a little bit hard — where he would wake up shaking and terrified and not-remembering something and simply huddle under the bedsheets and cry until he could at least hear his own thoughts again; and there were more than a few things he felt like he didn’t really quite understand right anymore; but mostly he felt he was making do well enough. Even if he wasn’t always quite sure he was doing what zhu ren would have wanted. He supposed he could always ask when… when zhu ren got back.

Reever did his best to give Komui his space, partially because Jerry had suggested that was probably the best thing to do and mostly because he was a goddamned coward. Now and again he would find Komui and have a meal with him, mostly in the company of Linali. They spent a lot of that time not speaking, because it was the only way they could ensure that the food would get eaten. Other than that, Reever left Komui to readjust in his own time, though sometimes he would sit in the empty lab next to Komui’s and listen to him work and some nights he would sit against Komui’s bedroom door and stay the night. Most days he went back to his old routine of drinking and working, passing the time. He didn’t even know what he was waiting for anymore, but there was nothing else to do.

Komui, for his part, was trying his best not to think about it.

The first couple days he managed beautifully. There was so much else to think about, so many emotions and things dredged out of mixed-up memory and people he hadn’t seen in ages — it was more than enough distraction. The next couple days after that he thought about it a little bit, but not really enough to be a bother; he had his work at least to occupy him. The next few days after that it was… an itch, almost. Begging to be noticed but if he ignored it long enough, it would subside at least briefly.

By the very end of the week he could hardly think about anything else.

Zhu ren.

Seeing him, being beside him. His voice. His touch on Komui’s skin, his caress petting Komui’s hair, his hand leading Komui along. His lips on Komui’s lips. His presence, so overwhelming it blotted out everything else — the way he knew everything, was everything, held everything inside him– His guidance. His orders. His control.

Where was he? Was he all right? Did he miss Komui? Did he still want to come back? Was Komui doing things the way he wanted? Was he… What was he supposed to do?

Komui stepped into the shower on Sunday morning and all he could think of in that moment was the hazy image of zhu ren with all his clothes on, turning him against the tiles, showing Komui what he wanted.

He collapsed down against the side of the tub with a shuddering intake of breath, the hot water pounding against his hair, hands inching lower down his own body; and didn’t make it out of the shower for a while.

Once he was finished, he climbed out. Somehow remembered to turn the faucet off; sat in the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror for a while, then wandered off absently into his bedroom proper, dripping water over the floor tiles. He hugged his arms around himself as he paced aimlessly.

It wouldn’t go away.

Reever woke up that morning feeling… off. He had days like this sometimes, where he would get out of bed and want to climb right back in because something told him if he did get out of bed, he would come to regret it. He would wake up and feel filled with dread, with a general feeling of anxiety that he couldn’t place or make go away. It made it impossible to think, impossible to work. It made him pace and clench and unclench his hands and wander in circles worrying about nothing, really, but everything in general and, well, how was he supposed to stop worrying when he wasn’t sure what he was worried for in the first place? Before Komui came back, Reever’s cure-all had been to drink until the worry faded, until he was too busy making the words on the paperwork before him come into focus to curl up in his bed and let his worry eat at him until the day somehow managed to disappear completely and suddenly it was night and he was asleep again with tear trails dried to his cheeks.

He’d done that once. He liked the drinking better. His throat hurt less in the morning if he drank instead.

Now that Komui had returned, though, the drinking wasn’t enough anymore. Because working wasn’t enough anymore. He couldn’t even bring himself to care whether or not the day’s work got done because Komui was home and he wasn’t okay and there wasn’t anything Reever could do but–

Feeling cold and restless and anxious, Reever found himself still in his pajamas with his Supervisor coat carelessly draped over his shoulders and out the door of his bedroom, heading for Komui’s room to… sit against the door. Listen. Make sure he was still safe. Make sure he was still there.

Once Reever arrived, though, he stopped just outside the door and frowned, listening. There was an unusual sound coming from Komui’s room. Something that sounded wet, sounded like pacing. Sounded like wet pacing.

“Komui…?” he called out, knocking lightly on the door. Out of all the things that could be wrong, Reever found himself worried that Komui might slip and hurt himself. Old habits, he supposed.

Inside, for a moment, the squelching noises of feet against floor tiles suddenly stopped. Then they began again. Grew a little louder.

“Um… hi…?”

The door creaked open to reveal a dripping-wet, entirely naked, glasses-less and rather vacant-looking Komui, staring at Reever like he was having a hard time making sense of the other man’s presence.

“K–” The words died on Reever’s lips as his eyes widened at Komui’s state of dress. A moment passed before Reever came to his senses enough to glance around and make sure the hall was still empty save for him before he pushed Komui back into his room, closing the door behind them. “Komui, what are you doing? You–” Oh thank God it was me and not, I don’t even know.

“Here,” he sighed, taking off the Supervisor coat to wrap it around Komui. “Is… is everything… are you okay, Komui?”

Komui just blinked for a moment, pulled the coat in a little closer automatically — his coat, he seemed to recall from somewhere — tilted his head to the side and attempted to consider the question.

Zhu ren didn’t like Reever.

He definitely wasn’t dead, he wasn’t hurt, he wasn’t sick, he wasn’t starving or anything… if he thought about it, he was pretty sure he was all right…

Zhu ren might be very unhappy with him.

He was sad because he missed zhu ren. But he shouldn’t… say that to… Reever was… …..why not, again?

“Um… I think so?” he offered, blinking at his bare feet for a second and then nodding. He was… everything was okay. Except zhu ren was gone. Which meant nothing at all was okay. But he couldn’t go to zhu ren and fix it so it had to be okay so it was even if it wasn’t but it definitely probably was.

“You think so?” Reever repeated with a little frown. That wasn’t very convincing. “Komui, why are you walking around naked? Did something happen? Do you… do you need anything?”

“Zhu ren,” Komui’s mouth said before his brain had time to think about it. He chewed on a thumbnail, let his eyes wander up to stare through wet black bangs toward the wall. He really hadn’t meant to say that, Reever didn’t like hearing things about zhu ren, he’d be all upset…

Zhu ren — did zhu ren want him to be around Reever? Would zhu ren tell him to stay away? Would zhu ren tell Komui to stay away? Would zhu ren tell him to hide in the infirmary with Linali until zhu ren came back?

“I, um…” Reever’s questions managed to penetrate his mind a little bit and he glanced down at himself, faintly surprised.

“Oh… I forgot.”

Reever really, really didn’t know how to respond to that. It was so ridiculous he almost wanted to laugh. Komui was a mess because he needed Cross. Or at least he seemed to be convinced so and what could Reever do about that? Hell, what could he even say about that?

“You should… get dressed then.” The words came out as though Reever was on autopilot. It was a practical, Reever-like thing to say. As long as he kept saying practical, calm things, what did it matter that he was curled up somewhere in the back of his head, screaming. As long as he didn’t actually do it, it was all the same to the rest of the world, wasn’t it?

“…Um. You’re right.”

Komui blinked for a second longer and then nodded, stripping the jacket back off; trying to focus his attention on that and not think about zhu ren’s big Order coat draped around him or anything else, and folded up the damp garment very carefully and pressed it into Reever’s arms.

What did he need first? He needed… he was wet. He needed a towel? A comb for his hair.

Zhu ren liked to watch him comb his hair.

The long, wet black locks were sticking to his bare buttocks a little as he turned around to walk back into the bathroom and look for his things.

Reever watched him for a short while after Komui returned the Supervisor jacket before he found himself turning around. He didn’t know why, didn’t realize until just then what strangers they had become. He covered his face with his hand and bit back the swell of emotions. He didn’t much have a use for them anymore. They only got in the way. He bit back the surge of emotions that did nothing for him and did his best not to clutch Komui’s old coat to his chest, did his best not to play that game he always liked to torment himself with. Where the coat still smelled like Komui, still was full of the warmth and strength of — Reever listened to Komui muddle around in the bathroom — someone who simply didn’t exist anymore.

It was only a minute or three before Komui returned to the bedroom, still naked but rather more dry, comb between his teeth and attempting to wring a towel around his hair. He plopped down on the edge of his bed and spat the comb out onto the covers beside him, frowning as he dragged the thick, blacker-than-black rope of wet hair over one shoulder, squeezing at it with the towel a little, before laying that to one side and attempting to begin combing with it. This was an intensive enough task that it distracted him nigh-entirely from Cross for the moment. With hair so long, the tangles wouldn’t come out with a single stroke of the comb; he had to start, go down part way, pull it out, go down part way, and repeat…

…Reever was turned away from him.

“…Reever?” he said in a quizzical tone, slightly bent over to one side with the comb still stuck in his hair.

“Are you dressed yet?” Reever answered after a short pause. It took him a moment to realize he was being spoken to and another moment to remember why he was even here.

He glanced over his shoulder out of habit to find Komui sitting there rather comically, making a mess of his very long hair. He let out a long sigh before making his way to Komui’s dresser and picked out clothes for him out of memory. White pants. White sweater. He picked out underwear at random because he didn’t much want to think about it and didn’t think Komui would care besides. In fact, Reever had the nagging feeling that Komui wouldn’t even care if he was handed girl’s panties. He dropped all of this in Komui’s lap before he held out his hand.

“Comb, please. Before you kill your hair and we have to cut it all off and give Jerry a heart attack.”

Komui blinked at him for a second and frowned slightly, absently reaching up to retrieve the comb.

“I’m not killing it. It just takes a while. And, um.” He glanced down at the clothes in his lap, feeling slightly confused by the other man’s attitude. “Thanks.”

“Well I can hear it screaming in agony so just sit there and try not to move too much,” Reever sighed while shaking his head. Though Reever was mostly helpless and entirely hopeless in most things that were traditionally girls-only, like he could tie a tie in seconds but couldn’t figure out how a bra unlatched for the life of him, brushing hair was at least one thing he could manage. Brushing hair, braiding it, picking out the right shade of scrunchy. He’d had plenty of practice with his sisters and kept his skills up-to-date through Linali. They were getting a little rusty now that Linali was all grown up, but it was like riding a bike, really. Or something. He could still figure out how to get all the tangles out without too much fuss, even with hair as long as Komui’s.

“You should get the ends trimmed,” he observed as he worked the comb through a particularly stubborn knot.

Komui winced a little and tried not to move his head. “Um… maybe so,” he allowed. But zhu ren didn’t want him to cut his hair. But zhu ren made Reever all upset, so maybe he shouldn’t say that. But…

“I’m not supposed to cut it,” he added quietly, hugging the clothes against his chest.

“Not supposed–” Reever cut himself off, stilled, swallowed, and forced himself to take a deep breath.

“Ah.”

That made sense, in an entirely Cross way. The man was obsessed with the Komui he had first had all those years ago, after all. In a way, Reever found himself almost identifying with the man. Cross wanted his old Komui back too, but it seemed that only one of them could get their way.

Then Reever banished the thought. Thinking like that almost made him feel like a bad person for wanting Komui to be well-adjusted again. It wasn’t that he wanted Komui to be anyone but who he was. It was just that Reever knew who Komui was and that this wasn’t it.

… at least, he was pretty sure he knew who Komui was.

Maybe.

Reever’s certainty was beginning to fade. It was like the time he’d caught bronchitis as a boy. He’d been so miserable for so long that he hadn’t really remembered what being healthy felt like. Logically he’d understood that at one point, he had been healthy and everything had felt fine. But he hadn’t been able to remember how it felt. He’d known, but that was very different from remembering. He’d only remembered feeling ill, as though he had been born that way.

Logic told him that Komui had once been a happy, well-adjusted person and they had once shared a happy, mostly normal relationship. He knew. His memories were real. He knew they had been that way once.

But he didn’t really remember anymore, what any of it felt like. Perhaps bits and pieces here and there. The kisses, the sex, the sneaking into Komui’s bed, the jokes during work hours. But a relationship wasn’t the sum of its parts. He didn’t really remember what it was like anymore.

So he wasn’t sure anymore. Whether or not he had ever known who Komui Li really was.

“I’m sure… I’m sure your hair will look better with a little trimming, anyway. That’s what matters, right? And it’ll grow back. But,” Reever sighed, eager to no longer be on this subject because it made him want to do something rash and violent just so the frustration of it all would leave him alone, “it was just a suggestion.”

Komui started to nod, but caught himself before he could jostle Reever’s hand.

“It… I’m sure it would.”

He hated making Reever feel bad. He was sure zhu ren wouldn’t want him to go around making people hate him, anyway. He wished he could stop saying stupid things and… and be able to be how Reever wanted him to be a little.

Was that… changing himself? He wasn’t supposed to change. He…

He… was really, awfully, terribly lonely.

…Zhu ren. I’m sorry if I do things wrong. I really can hardly do things right without you anyway.

For a while, he sat there in silence, filling his concentration with Reever, Reever’s hand steadied against his head, the comb running through his hair. The little jabs of pain when he pulled. Komui winced a bit more in places.

“…Thank you,” he murmured at length.

“Don’t mention it,” Reever sighed, tugging the last few knots free. He lowered the comb to his lap and then looked down at it as though he wasn’t quite sure what to do with his hands now.

“Did you… want me here for anything?” he asked after a long, contemplative silence where his mind didn’t really settle on anything specific at all, just a buzz of half formed thoughts as he blindly groped for something to say or something to do and came up blank. He barely even knew where he stood anymore, and really, at this point he was rather ashamed to admit that the memory of his seven-year-old sister had more guts than him. He was so terrified of doing something wrong, of screwing up what little remained of what he had with Komui. If that was even anything at all. Reever just didn’t know, and as a scientist very little bothered him more than not knowing something.

Some days he woke up wishing that Komui would just leave him once and for all so that he could stop being scared of everything, stop being terrified of not knowing, stop being frustrated and helpless and useless and–

Those were the days Reever didn’t get out of bed.

“If not,” he forced out, wrapping his hand around the comb. The teeth dug into his palm. “If not… I should go to work.”

Komui’s head shot up for a moment; he looked at Reever with something resembling surprise, which faded into a slightly sad expression as his gaze turned downward again.

“I– … I guess not. But no, really, um. Thank you.”

He tucked some of his bangs behind his ear, shifted his grip on the clothes sitting in his lap.

“It’s easier to… to think when you’re around.”

Reever blinked in surprise, then stared at Komui for a moment as the words settled in. He studied Komui’s expression, trying to decipher it.

“…you can come with?” he finally offered a bit tiredly. He smiled encouragingly. “It’ll be like old times. You can sit there and I’ll sign everything.”

“You… don’t mind?” Komui murmured, glancing up at the other man very uncertainly. All he ever seemed to do was make Reever upset, and yet…

“I could use the company,” Reever reassured. “But!” He set the comb down and stood, folding his arms over his chest.

“One condition. You can’t come with unless you get dressed first, because while I don’t mind all that much, Johnny might be offended when he comes to bring me more paperwork. Or else scarred for life. I’d really rather not test that theory.”

Komui blinked at him for a second, and then helplessly smiled.

“Well, that would never do.”

Having thus spoken, he scooted away a little to rise from the bed, going for his glasses before setting down his clothes and shaking them out piece by piece to put on.

Reever waited patiently, mostly staring at his hands, the fact he was wearing just pajama pants and an undershirt, at his rather soft belly. Hm. Jerry had a point, now that he looked at it more closely. He prodded his stomach with a finger with some displeasure. Maybe he could figure out how to sign papers while jogging. Or doing sit-ups. Maybe he could mount a clipboard to the wall and sign a paper on each ‘up’. Hm. He would have to look into that.

By the time he was done pondering that, he glanced up to see how Komui was doing.

“Ready to go?”

“Yes! But… where are my shoes…” Komui mumbled to himself, ducking his head upside down off the side of the bed to glance underneath. No such luck. He sat back up again and gave the room a last once-over, but the shoes were nowhere to be seen; frowning a little, he walked over to grab something out of the wardrobe. The first things his fingers happened upon were a familiar pair of black and white checked slippers.

Ah, well, these were probably more comfortable anyway. After three years of constant traveling, he just hadn’t quite gotten used to not living out of his luggage yet.

“The way we’re dressed, we should just go back to bed,” Reever mused rather fondly. “Alright, let’s go then. If we get done early, we can… I don’t know. What do people do for fun these days?” He glanced over at Komui and then found himself grinning in a slightly sad sort of way.

“You wouldn’t know either, huh? That’s okay. I bet you that’s the one thing our department couldn’t come up with if they were given a month’s time to research it. If we get done early I’ll call Rabi and see if he hasn’t studied enough human nature to know what those bizarre normal people do for fun.”

A small smile tugged at Komui’s lips as he grabbed a hair tie off the top of his desk and shoved it in his pocket for later, heading in the direction of the door. “When do we ever get done early?”

He was trying not to let his brain circle back to zhu ren again for a little while or he might not be able to stop; so it didn’t quite occur to him just how nice it was to be thinking about something else.

…and he just hoped there weren’t too many people in and out of the office today. At least it was a Sunday…

- – -

“Okay, so, let’s make a system,” Reever announced once they were inside the Supervisor’s office. The spotless, everything-in-its-place, floor-polished-until-it-looked-like-a-mirror, not-a-speck-of-dust-anywhere Supervisor’s office that smelled something like a cross between a pub and lemon Pine-Sol. There was a new mahogany desk where the old one had once sat, a new leather couch with a little blanket and cushion resting on one end, and half the bookshelves seemed to have been replaced. A half-empty bottle of whiskey was sitting on the floor next to the desk. Reever went over and stuck it in a drawer before continuing.

“You can date everything and sort them into piles and I’ll read and sign them,” he suggested, looking over the day’s inbox. “How’s that sound?”

“Um… I can do that…”

Komui, however, had stopped short in the doorway, gaping openly at the condition the room was in. He had absolutely no trouble remembering that this was not at all how he had left it.

“…this is the right office, right?” he said with a blink, just to make sure. Three years… really was a long time.

“Uh, yeah,” Reever answered rather sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s really different, I know. I just…” Missed you so badly. Couldn’t look at the desk or the walls or the couch. Didn’t know what to do.

“…thought a change of pace might help,” he finished awkwardly with a helpless little shrug. He looked at Komui rather nervously, tugging at the hem of his own shirt. “Do you, uh… is it okay? Is it too much? We can go through the catalogs again, if you want. I mean, the desk is kind of much, isn’t it? And, well, the couch is really comfortable but if you don’t like it– We could throw papers all over the floor?”

“Um, well–”

And just like that, Komui was in a wonderful mood.

“It’s been your office for three whole years, you had every right to change it around,” he said, stifling a very small laugh as he walked over to the inbox to grab some of the papers on the top, then headed in the direction of the leather couch. “And it does look like a very nice couch… and yes, is a very nice couch,” he decided speculatively as he plopped down on it, setting the forms beside him.

“Oh wait, I didn’t get a pen…”

“Here, I feel like annoying the Head Generals today,” Reever grinned, handing Komui a pen he had invented during one drunken night or another. He didn’t even remember inventing it. He’d just woken up one morning drooling on the blueprints. It wrote in luminescent pink. Gabby would have loved it.

“I’m glad you approve of the couch, though. Desk is nice too. If you spill anything or whatever, it’s got this neat glass top that you just wipe off,” Reever introduced, giving the desk an affectionate pat. “And when I get bored I make face prints on it.” Komui’s good mood was rather contagious.

“Face prints?” Komui peered at the desk very speculatively for a moment, then glanced up at Reever’s face with a raised brow, as though trying to imagine just how such an idea would work. “They don’t just look like giant blobs? Or is that the fun of it?” He smiled a little again as he glanced down toward the paperwork sitting next to him. Date and sort into piles, Reever had asked… Surely he’d be fine. It wasn’t like there was much to screw up here.

But somehow it did feel weird to be working on paperwork in the Supervisor’s office again.

“Well, usually you can make out the mouth and the nose and the voids where the eyes are. It’s pretty cool. You’re free to try but I’m kind of afraid that might be the sort of thing that’s only amusing when you’re either under five years of age or intoxicated,” Reever explained rather sheepishly.

“That’s okay. But I wouldn’t mind watching you do it sometime,” Komui informed him, biting his lip and fighting an automatic grin. He glanced down at the paper in his hand, jotted the date in the corner — what a fascinating color of ink — briefly scanned the contents and tossed it down into what would be the first pile, on the floor next to his feet.

Hm. Reever even kept up with his paperwork every day. He was much more responsible than Komui had ever been.

If Reever had been able to hear the other’s thoughts, however, he would have protested that his seeming organization was all a lie. The paperwork got done between inventing pens that did nothing but hurt the Head Generals’ and Mission Ops’ eyes, making face-prints on his exceptionally expensive desk, and bouts of drinking or depression or delinquency or all of the above, which really was no more effective a system than what Komui had once had in place; but then again, the former Supervisor didn’t really have a way of knowing that. Or caring, with the number Cross had done on his sense of self-worth.

“I’ll call you the very next time I’m drunk,” Reever laughed quietly with a shake of his head. “Bit embarrassing thing to do when I’m not, I’m afraid. You can tell which ones are mine, though. Mine have stubble. It’s very impressive.”

“And definitely very distinctive,” Komui agreed with a little laugh, picking up the next piece of paperwork.

Just sorting through all the papers proved to be a blessedly mindless task; not so hard that there was any reason to worry, but demanding just enough of his concentration to keep his thoughts firmly in the here and now as he went about the work he’d been set to. When at last there were three or four little piles of forms sitting on the floor around his feet, and none left on the couch next to him, Komui rose to begin plopping them on Reever’s desk in anticipation of continuing with the next batch out of the inbox.

“I guess you can start looking through these if you want,” he told Reever, glancing back toward the once-again clean floor with a faintly mournful expression.

“Go for it,” Reever answered with more than a slight hint of utter shock. Komui was on task. Consistently. It almost made Reever want to phone the Noahs and ask how that impending apocalypse was coming along. “At this rate we’re actually going to finish early, Komui. Then the world will grind to a halt as God has to sort out what to do with us because us finishing early was never part of His plan.”

“…maybe I should go slower,” Komui murmured to himself, glancing uncertainly at the volume in the inbox. He didn’t relish the thought of running out of things to do and inevitably letting his mind wander. Zhu ren was–

–Maybe– ….maybe he should go do something in the lab later.

“Slower? Come on, Komui. The world won’t end if we finish early, I swear. I might have a heart attack and die and that’ll technically be the end of the world for me, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take,” Reever teased. Then he noted the expression on Komui’s face and his mood sobered a little.

“If we finish early, I’ll show you how to make face prints, okay?” he offered with a little smile. “And then we can sneak down to R&D and tell them we need an emergency shipment of brightly colored pens. I’ve been working on a way to make them scented with Jerry. You can help us hash out the last few details.”

Komui smiled again, just a little bit, as he picked up another bunch of papers, plopping down to lean against the desk nearer Reever in lieu of returning to the couch. “You’ll have to let me have a look at the chemical makeup of this stuff… That’s not ink in there, is it?” he speculated with one eyebrow raised, shaking the pen around a little in front of his face.

“Not really. It’s pigment suspended in water-based gel. I thought my findings were frivolous at first, but it turns out they actually have some scientific value. If I wanted to write ransom notes, for example. My gel pens, in addition to being brightly colored and hard on the eyes, are very consistent and would be hard to trace if I wasn’t the only one to currently own them,” Reever reported sagely. “But in the future, kidnappers everywhere will thank me. Or something. I don’t know. Anyway, it’s iron oxide pigments and biopolymers. I don’t actually remember how I came up with this. I had a three day blackout and here we are. Gel pens.”

Komui frowned a little at the pen for a moment. He wasn’t entirely sure he liked it anymore.

“Well, it’s clever,” he said with as encouraging a smile as he could manage, gaze turning downward as he started to go back to the paperwork.

“Yeah, for all I know Jerry came in and wrote the whole thing for me but it at least looks like my… drunken scrawl,” Reever finished with a frown, looking over Komui. “…did I say something, Boss?”

Komui blinked at him for a second. Considered it. Glanced away very slowly, uncomfortable, and shook his head. He didn’t want to make Reever all upset again. He plopped a finished form onto the floor next to him, picking up the next off the pile without saying anything at all.

Reever had already felt the strange suspicion that something was wrong, and now he felt for certain that something was wrong.

“Komui?” he asked again. Then he rose and crouched down next to where Komui was, putting his hand on top of the pile of papers so that Komui couldn’t take any more. “Komui, what’s wrong?”

Komui glanced up at him through dark bangs with a rather apprehensive expression.

“…Um. Nothing. Really,” he murmured, meekly, eyes turning uncomfortably back down after a moment to the form he’d picked up. He scribbled the date over the top automatically.

“Just… don’t… poison yourself or anything…” he mumbled, voice growing a bit smaller with each word. Reever was going to be upset. “If… you don’t mind.”

There was a long, long silence on Reever’s end. It took him a little bit to really understand what Komui was saying, to connect that Komui had become upset because… of the drinking. That Reever was missing entire blocks of time because he had been too drunk to remember, up to days at a time. It took Reever a moment to realize this because it had happened so many times and he was still alive and dragging himself through the days that it didn’t worry him at all anymore. It wasn’t even remotely scary as it had been the first time it had happened, when he’d hit the bottle in his office on a Wednesday and woken up outside some time Friday night without any idea what he had done all of Thursday.

It took him even longer to come up with something to say to Komui. The way Komui worded his concerns, almost… as though he was afraid. It was far from the yelling matches he had with Jerry, and it was completely unlike the sort of thing the old Komui would have said to him. It made his heart ache, made him feel like a terrible, pathetic excuse of a person. He sighed, quietly, and moved his hand to Komui’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry, Komui,” he reassured. “I only drank a lot because… because I missed you, and the drinking helped. It’d be silly of me to miss you when you’re right here, right?” He hesitated, then leaned down and kissed Komui very lightly on the forehead.

“I won’t drink so much anymore, I promise.”

Komui just looked at him for a moment, unreadably, then nodded; his answering smile a little strained but nonetheless relieved.

“That’s, um…”

He hesitated for a second.

He probably shouldn’t— think about this too hard or–

Before he could change his mind, he leaned forward to express his gratitude with a return peck on the cheek. One tiny fleeting press of his lips against Reever’s scratchy jaw; barely an instant had passed before he looked away, eyes determinedly downcast as he started to tug another paper out from under the other man’s hand.

He probably shouldn’t have done that, but — but it seemed like the right thing to do if— he didn’t think about it too hard.

If. Well.

Never mind. There was tomorrow to think about that.

“…Thank you…” he mumbled. “We should… finish these up.”

Reever’s hand lifted from the papers to gingerly touch the place Komui’s lips had just been. His cheeks grew the slightest bit flushed as he nodded, not entirely certain of the question but sure that he was probably supposed to be agreeing. Most likely. Oh, right. Work. Finishing it. Yeah. Same old story.

“Um, yeah, I suppose so,” he agreed, turning back for his desk. And because his mind refused to stop cycling through the same few thoughts of ‘Komui kissed me’, ‘Komui kissed me’, ‘Komui kissed me‘, ‘Komui kissed me’ and other such completely useless variations, he finished his own work in complete silence. However, once all the papers were sorted, dated, and signed (save for the one he shoved into his drawer for tomorrow, just in case the world actually did end in the event they finished a day’s work on time) there was no more putting off having to think about things that did not have to do with Komui, him, and kissing.

“Well, Komui,” he finally managed, looking around feeling rather awkward. “It’s… well. Hm. We’re done for today. Anything you want to do besides watch me shove my face against this glass?”

“Umm…”

Komui tugged on a lock of hair as he glanced back, and smiled again, a little apologetically.

“…maybe we could go see Linali?”

“Oh, sure!” Reever nodded. It had been a while since he had last seen her anyway. No change in her condition, so there really hadn’t been a pressing need, and, well. Lately Reever had been useless at even knowing what to do with himself. But now that Komui mentioned it, it seemed like a great idea to visit Linali. Hopefully she could be encouraged to wake up sooner.

“Want to grab some snacks to bring with us? We can sit with her awhile.”

Komui nodded once, rising and rummaging around in his pocket for the hair tie he’d brought earlier. He tossed his long hair behind his shoulders and quickly bound it up at the nape of his neck.

“Assuming Jerry doesn’t kidnap us the rest of the day, anyway,” he said quietly, still smiling a bit. It seemed like he got mothered to death every time he went in there. Which… wasn’t a bad thing, maybe.

“We’ll tell him we’re going to see Linali,” Reever answered with a smile of his own. “He won’t be able to sweep us back out fast enough.”

- – -

Half an hour or so later the boys were signing in to visit Linali, a basket of God-knows-what held between them. Jerry had put it together, shoved it into their arms, and ushered them back out before they’d even had a chance to check its contents. Ah, well, knowing Jerry it would be a nice surprise. And Reever distinctly smelled coffee. That would make Komui happy.

“Linali~” Reever called lightly as they let themselves in, knocking on the wall out of habit. “I brought your brother to visit you. Don’t worry, you don’t have to rush waking up yet. He hasn’t been making any giant robots lately, promise.”

Pulling over a couple chairs, Komui settled himself in at Linali’s bedside, bending to plant a kiss on her cheek and stroke her hair for a moment before actually sitting down.

“Must be boring,” he greeted her in Chinese, smiling softly. “We’ll do our best to entertain you for a while.“

That said, he glanced toward Reever and the basket, which Reever had taken possession of. “I believe I detect the scent of coffee in there?” he observed cheerily.

“Yes, and don’t promise her that, Komui. We have no idea what ‘entertainment’ for Linali could be. It could mean you must wear wedding dress, you know,” Reever answered just as brightly, unpacking some cookies and other assorted pastries in addition to a large canister of hot coffee. He poured them each a mug and offered one out to Komui.

Komui couldn’t decide whether to be horrified by the idea or overjoyed by the coffee, so he settled for a little of both, grimacing as he held the mug to his lips. “Don’t say things like that or they might come true,” he lamented before moving to take a long sip. He sighed happily and paused a moment before continuing.

“Someday I’ll convince you I’m actually a boy,” he insisted, glancing back in Linali’s direction with just a little bit of a pout.

“And that’ll be the day she dashes your dreams by letting you in on the secret that she really doesn’t care,” Reever laughed back, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, Komui. You just look better in a dress than the rest of us. And I’m going to pretend I’m not speaking out of experience.”

“Well, how would you know? You’ve never seen me in a dress. And you never will,” Komui stated fervently, in full pout mode now over his cup of coffee. “In the event that I have a wedding day I intend to go to it wearing pants like any other normal human being. Ah, being pretty is a curse,” he lamented with a sigh, reaching for one of Jerry’s cookies.

“You say that now,” Reever began in a cautionary tone, “but wait until that wedding rolls around and Linali starts sniffing that she didn’t get to go dress shopping with you and her eyes get all big and watery… you’ll give. I’d put a betting pool on it but no one would want to bet against me. Because they would lose. And I know because I’ve seen me in a dress and it’s a sight that would make angels renounce God. So just take my word for it. You look better than me in a dress. And I don’t even want to test Tapp or Johnny or any of the other lab boys. Let’s just take the rest of it on faith, okay?”

The rather disgruntled look on Komui’s face could mean only one thing: He knew everybody would lose that bet too. He sighed a little as he munched on his cookie.

“I guess, if you went ahead and woke up, I would maybe think about possibly someday letting you put me in that dress at some point before I die. If it would make you happy,” he pouted at Linali.

Somehow this day had ended up much, much better than it had begun. So much so that he was trying to just not think about anything and simply go with the flow, in the hopes of not screwing it all up.

…but he still missed zhu ren.

“Bah, she knows she doesn’t have to wake up to that,” Reever chided, sifting around the basket to find a chocolate chip cookie. “You’ll do it for her anyway, because–”

When he looked back up, cookie in hand, he suddenly stopped speaking.

Linali’s eyes were squeezed shut, her lips slightly parted. She let out a quiet little groan before she finally opened her eyes briefly before she closed them. She tried again, squinting against the light.

“…ge ge?” she asked softly, reaching up to try to find him. Her hand was unsteady. Then she saw him sitting beside her and smiled, letting her eyes shut once more.

“Ge ge,” she murmured, “I wasn’t scared, ge ge. I knew you would be here when I woke up again.”

He had been planning on not crying, but… his cheeks were wet.

Komui knelt beside her and slid an arm underneath her head, relief flooding him in overwhelming waves as he cradled her against his side carefully, gingerly, genuinely afraid to break her.

“…Linali.”

He couldn’t talk very well. Couldn’t think very well again all of a sudden, for the relief and the worry and the fear for the future all crowding around inside his head. But as he curled up there right then, with his cheek pressed against her hair, stroking it softly — right at that particular moment, there was no one else in the world but Linali.

“Sorry I’m late,” he said quietly.

And then she was crying too, laughing as she shakily wiped at her tears. She slid her arms around him as well and held on as tightly as she could, still crying and laughing and it made her so very sore to do so but she didn’t want to stop.

“Welcome home,” she answered tearfully, burying her face into his chest.

The door quietly closed behind Reever. It really wasn’t his place, wasn’t the sort of thing an outsider like him should watch. How he envied them, though. How happy he was for them. Idly, he hooked his fingers under his remaining bracelet and toyed with it as he walked away.

What did people do when they ran out of work and places to be?

- – -

It was lucky that Komui didn’t really have any other place he needed to be at the moment, because for the next week, as far as he could manage it, he was hardly ever separated from Linali. Unfortunately, now that she was awake, the doctors and nurses tended to come in and check on her much more frequently and would shoo him out in the evenings, so he couldn’t sleep overnight in her room; he’d also find himself booted out around lunchtime and whenever they thought he was just exhausting her too much. But he kept sneaking back in, because he just needed to see her, and he didn’t want to leave her all alone in there. When she wasn’t resting they would pass the time talking of all sorts of things — how the Headquarters was doing; funny things that happened while Komui was gone; and when he could think of something he could bear sharing, tales of Komui’s years in China.

But because of prying ears and eyes (Linali’s Exorcist friends would drop by now and again to see how she was recovering; even Kanda hadn’t managed to completely stay away) they didn’t really get to talking until Linali was discharged to finish recovering in the comfort of her own room. Jerry actually took the entire day prior off from cooking to get her room spotless for her again, dusting and shuffling things around and filling it with flower arrangements. The rest of the Order nearly starved, but that aside Linali had a smooth transition from her hospital room back to her own quarters.

“Ge ge~” she called once she was settled back in her own bed, propped up against the headboard with lots and lots of pillows. (She was fairly certain that Allen had stolen all of them for her from the rooms of the rest of their friends as one of them had Kanda’s initials written on the inside of the pillowcase, another seemed to have been ripped open and stitched shut again, and yet another smelled entirely of oranges, but… it was kind of touching.) “Come sit here,” she beckoned, patting the space next to her, “and bring me a brush and some hair ties, won’t you?”

“Oh, I suppose,” came the answer from ouside her bedroom door, and Komui walked in a moment later brandishing the requested items (the truth was he’d brought them along in anticipation of just such an event). “We can’t leave my poor hair in peace?” he said with a wide smile as he plopped down next to her, laying the brush and dark-colored ties down in her lap and reaching up to undo the one currently tied at the nape of his neck.

He’d been doing his best for Linali; trying his hardest to be the big brother she remembered no matter when. She had never known about Komui and Cr — zhu ren’s bargain, and she never needed to know, and he never wanted her to know. She didn’t need to know what had passed between them over those three years, how he’d come back changed. What she needed was her beloved ge ge, and he wanted to give her that with everything in him. So he tried not to let anything get to him; even tried to — not put zhu ren away, but, just a little bit, tried to remember what he had been like without zhu ren. It made his head hurt and he shook a little at night when he curled up in bed by himself, but… he was trying. And, he thought, hopefully doing okay.

“Of course not! Because our family has the prettiest hair and I love playing with it, but I don’t have very much of my own anymore so you just have to share yours,” Linali answered in a matter-of-fact voice. “Because you’re my big brother and that means you have to share everything with me.” There was a pause as Linali seemed to ponder something, turning the hair brush slowly in her hand.

“If I don’t find a boyfriend in the next few years, we should just have a baby, ge ge,” she mused lightly with a smile. “It would have terribly pretty hair and I could play with it all I wanted.”

Komui choked a little.

“Uhh… much as I’d enjoy the looks on everyone’s faces when they found out you were bearing my child, I have a feeling that would be a bad idea,” he said with a laugh, grinning at her abashedly. “You’ll just have to settle for my hair instead.”

“You know, I think I’d like to see that too,” Linali giggled, beaming up at Komui. “We should tell them anyway. But. I suppose it would be kind of strange.” She let out a little sigh at that, tapping her finger against her lips.

“I suppose… Kanda’s hair is almost as pretty as ours.”

“You can’t have a baby with Kanda. He’d be awful to you.” Komui pouted at her. “But… I suppose if you wanted to play with Kanda’s hair…” he mused, attempting a thoughtful look that was entirely disrupted by his grin.

“Oh, no, don’t cut his hair off,” Linali scolded. “He doesn’t have very much to live for to begin with. Take away his vanity and he might actually kill himself. And I suppose if he doesn’t meet your approval either…” She reached up and started brushing Komui’s hair, thinking very hard on who else in the Order had gorgeous hair. No one else really came to mind. “Well, I’ll just have to keep looking. Oh, if only Bak didn’t work for the East Asian Branch.”

“You definitely can’t have a baby with Bak!” Komui exclaimed, looking scandalized. Bak Chan was mostly a good guy, sure, and a competent member of the Order. But he was definitely suspicious. He had… designs on Linali, Komui was sure of it. Maybe he couldn’t prove it, but having no proof had never stopped him from going on any giant robot rampages before.

“Why not?” Linali asked out of genuine curiosity. She didn’t know her brother had anything against Bak. Actually, she hadn’t even known they knew each other that well, but she should have figured. She busily put up one side of Komui’s hair in a pigtail in the meantime.

“Because he… he… wants to… take…” Komui twitched a little. “Unacceptable liberties with you.” Yes, he was imagining the robot right now and it would be glorious…

“Well, that’s good, isn’t it?” Linali asked innocently, trying not to break out into laughter. “I mean, if I want to have a baby with him, what could possibly be considered an ‘unacceptable’ liberty? It’s even better if my husband-to-be is willing! Then I can save the chloroform for when I eventually kidnap you and Reever-ge ge for a proper day off.”

Komui choked a little.

“That — you — Linaliiii,” he moaned, turning around momentarily to pout outrageously at her. “You’re going to give poor little old me a heart attack at this rate and then won’t you be sorry. He’s not allowed to even think about making any babies with you until your wedding night, and you should definitely pick someone you don’t need to kidnap, so there.” He didn’t comment about the part involving him and Reever. He didn’t even know what to say, anyway.

“Well, fine,” Linali sighed. “I’ll keep looking but I might end up alone forever and it’ll be all your fault, ge ge. Because I’ll have to look for someone who’s as good to me as you are, and that just might be impossible. It means I’ll need more chloroform if I want to take you and Reever-ge ge out.” She paused long enough to finish brushing out Komui’s new pigtail, moving on to braiding it because she felt like giving him bunny ears.

“How are you two doing, anyway? He’s missed you a lot.” A little bit of guilt found its way into her voice then.

“Um…”

Thinking about Reever like that was still… He… He wasn’t sure how he felt about it all yet. Reever was — was important and that much he was sure of, but he — zhu ren–

He couldn’t think about it all too much because the hole in his chest that he’d started trying to ignore, for sanity’s sake — it ached so much and he just…

“We’re doing okay, I think,” Komui somehow managed to say without really knowing what he was saying at all, smiling awkwardly. “It’s been a little stressful since I got back, but I’m sure it’ll even out just fine.”

“That’s good,” Linali accepted after a little pause, though she frowned and drew her hands away from his hair. “Are… you sure, ge ge? You don’t… sound very sure. You know you can tell me anything, right? I know we’re older now and our secrets are bigger but… you never let me face anything alone so you shouldn’t have to either, ge ge.” She slipped her hand into his and gave it a squeeze.

“It’s been a long time, but that hasn’t changed. It’ll never change,” she promised quietly.

Komui gripped her hand, and didn’t turn around to meet her gaze until he felt sure he’d wiped all the sadness out of his smile.

“I love you, Li Li,” he murmured as he looked back again, leaning over to softly kiss her cheek.

“I love you too, ge ge,” Linali answered without pause, because it came to her without even needing to think about it. Because it was such a basic truth, a fact of life. The grass was green, the sky was blue, snow was cold, and she loved her brother more than the whole world. She leaned her head against his shoulder, pulling his hand into her lap to clasp her other hand over it.

“I just want you to be happy,” she added quietly. “I want you to be as happy as you’ve always made me.”

“Don’t worry about me,” Komui said softly in reply, a more genuine smile passing across his face as he leaned his forehead down a little against her hair.

“I am happy.”

Right now, at least, for this particular moment, he was sure he was telling the truth.

“Well I want you to stay happy,” Linali sighed. “I want you to be able to be happy even when I’m not here. Though…” Her expression fell slightly as she looked down at her legs and shook her head.

“…at least that won’t be a problem for a while.”

Komui wrapped an arm around her waist, squeezing reassuringly.

“I wouldn’t worry too much about that either, hmm? I’m sure it’s frustrating right now, but you’ll be up and running again before you know it, you just watch.” Of course, no one really knew what would be the final result of her Innocence’s very unusual behavior. But it was still whole and she still had it with her, that was the important part. Innocence looked after its own. Komui couldn’t imagine his sister’s ever deserting her.

“And in the meantime, I am your doting servant.” He smiled at her, feeling rather glad to get away from the subject of himself and his own troubles. “Of course, we didn’t really need a special occasion, I’d be happy to wait on you in bed anytime.”

“Anything to get away from work, huh?” Linali teased quietly, giving him a content, affectionate nuzzle. “But that’s okay. We both need a break. We should just stay here all day.” She fell silent for a little while, just listening to the steady beat of her brother’s heart.

“…you seem tired, ge ge,” she whispered after the silence had settled in. “Tired like you were the last time I didn’t see you for three years, but much, much more tired. Reever-ge ge hasn’t visited me once since I woke up. Does everyone else know something I don’t, ge ge?”

Komui sighed faintly, and couldn’t help but smile a little once more because, well… she was his sister. He should have known a girl as shrewd as Linali would see right through him.

“Well, it was a long trip,” he murmured, because he could hardly say anything else. “Three years of almost nothing but traveling. I think anybody would be tired.”

“…not that kind of tired, ge ge,” Linali sighed softly, closing her hand around a little fold in the fabric Komui’s shirt. She didn’t say anything more because she knew that he knew she hadn’t meant that kind of tired. If he didn’t want to tell her, she wouldn’t make him. Komui would never hide anything from her without good reason. She trusted him.

Komui’s grip slackened against her, just a little, as he briefly glanced away.

“I’m okay,” he murmured quietly, because that was what she needed to hear. Turned back around to kiss the top of her head. “I promise.”

It wouldn’t do you any good to know, Linali. It would only bring you pain.

But he wished he could explain… something.

“And Reever… well, I’ll talk to him. I’m sure he’ll come see you soon,” Komui offered, shifting in his place, desperately hoping she would forget this whole subject for good. He didn’t… he didn’t even know what to say.

“No, that’s okay,” Linali whispered, shaking her head. “He probably doesn’t want to see me.” Her voice caught a little and she drew in a deep breath, grip on Komui’s shirt tightening.

“I’m sorry, ge ge,” she apologized, sounding as though about to cry. “I did a terrible job of looking after him.”

“Funny,” Komui murmured, drawing his other arm around her and beginning to gently stroke her back, “he said exactly the same thing about you.”

He smiled faintly, a little sadly, as he held Linali close. “I think he… just feels bad, probably.”

“He shouldn’t… feel bad,” Linali managed, holding Komui more tightly in return. “I did this to myself because I was only making him more miserable here. I always went straight to Mission Ops, so I never even gave him the chance to stop me. I shouldn’t have given up so easily, I just…” She sighed again, closing her eyes.

“…he shouldn’t blame himself. It’s not anyone’s fault, and I’m okay. And you came back. So…”

“Exactly. So I’ll talk to him. And drag him down here,” Komui concluded with a small smile, squeezing her a little tighter for just a moment. “I’m sure it’ll work out fine.” He might not be sure what the hell to do about Reever and himself, but Reever and Linali, at least, was an easy fix. At least he hoped so. It wasn’t like he was any good with people, but as long as he just dragged them back together and didn’t put in too much of a hand otherwise, he probably couldn’t screw anything up.

“Is there anything you can’t fix?” Linali asked quietly, though she was smiling against his chest now. Her voice held all the wonder of a little girl who knew she had an invincible brother who could cure everything from her stuffy nose to her broken doll to all the problems of the world. “…besides your designs for Komurin, of course.”

…lots and lots of things. So many I can hardly bear it.

But that wasn’t what big brothers said to their little sisters.

“Of course not,” he declared impishly, giving the top of her head a gentle poke. “I could even make the Earth rotate backward if I wanted to.”

“Really?” Linali gasped in pretend-wonderment. She peered up at him to smile. “Well, for now I’ll settle for your company and cuddling and maybe tomorrow you can make the Earth rotate backwards for me.”

“I think I can fit that into my schedule,” Komui said, smiling. For a moment he paused, blinking as one pigtail happened to swing into his vision.

“By the way… are you done with my hair?” he wondered with a quiet laugh.

“Of course not,” Linali answered quickly, sitting up again. “I’m going to give you bunny ears and you have to wear them the whole day.”

“Ack– Linaliiiii,” he pouted in response, nevertheless shifting obligingly so she could easily get back to playing with his hair. “I am actually a boy, you know.”

“I know that, ge ge!” Linali replied in a very exasperated voice. “But you keep saying that like it matters. Boys look pretty with bunny ears too!”

“I just can’t win, can I?” he sighed mournfully, sitting back a little so she could reach him better. Another contented smile flitted across his lips.

Not like he really wanted to.

Linali finished braiding his hair fairly quickly, then happily tied the ends of the braids to the tops to give Komui little floppy bunny ears. She held the ‘ears’ by the ends and toyed with them a bit, making them wiggle this way and that.

“Awwww~ These look even better on you than they did me,” she gushed before she wrapped her arms around Komui for another hug. Then she sat back and pushed him lightly, nodding to the door.

“I think now would be a very good time to go find Reever-ge ge.”

“Ergh–”

Komui grimaced a little bit and then reached up to scratch at his nose, smiling a helpless, embarrassed sort of smile.

“I guess if you insist… Maybe he’ll be so busy laughing he’ll forget to feel bad,” Komui speculated sheepishly, scooting a little closer to the edge of the bed as though making to rise.

“You happen to be very pretty right now,” Linali sniffed indignantly. “And anyone who says otherwise will just have to answer to my Dark Boots as soon as I’m better.”

“If you say so,” Komui humored her, shaking his head with a smile as he got up. The bunny ears bounced along with his movement. “Be back in a little while, okay?” He leaned over to give her hair one last caress, and pressed his lips to her cheek.

“I’ll be waiting,” Linali reassured, as though there was anything else she could be doing.